BELONGING IS LONGING TO BE
For many years I had a book on my nightstand. I could not get myself to read it because I thought the title was “cheesy”. But I also could not get myself to store it somewhere else. That book even relocated with me from Chicago to Qatar and then to California.
In 2019, following a painful loss, I finally picked it up with the intention of reading a page or two. I was desperately looking for help. Although I didn’t have high expectations, I was hoping it could give me a bit of relief as some people told me it would. The next thing I knew I could not put it down. It was such as a powerful book; the Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. Shortly after that, I read A New Earth by the same author. Subsequently, I went through an inner transformation that I can only describe as being peaceful and calmly fearless. During these blissful months, I also began to write poetry. Prior to that, not only did I almost never read poetry, but I actually did not appreciate it. Now here I was, in the pandemic, with a masked face, standing in a long line of a grocery store, and typing away the unstoppable flow of words in my phone. The whole experience made me realize that I am not who I thought I was. I am much more than that, so much more that is incomprehensible by my own mind. That euphoric phase gradually faded away, so did the flow of poems.
Someone told me that the captured poems are not mine to keep, so I self-published them under the title: Not My Words.
Prior to this transformative experience, I functioned in different capacities. I worked as a software engineer, a business and product planning manager, Pilates instructor, workshop facilitator, and a psychotherapist.
My place of birth is Iran. I immigrated to Denmark with my family when I was a teenager. I moved to the United States in my twenties. Now, I reside in California, USA.
I like my Persian name, Negah. My father chose it for me. I always thought that it only had the common meaning which is the gaze in one’s eyes. But not too long ago I realized the true meaning of it, which is to be in the moment. I thought that was kind of prophetic. Some people have a bit of a hard time pronouncing it, so I have also adopted the name Nina (after Nina Van Horne in just shoot me ☺). I respond to both. Afterall, they are just names.